Clay Cane is a New York City-based writer who is recognized for his contributions in journalism. Clay is a regular contributor for various print and online publications such as The Advocate and BET.com. He is the author of the highly anticipated novel Ball-Shaped World, which is a fictionalized account of the black and Latino ballroom scene. Also, he is the Entertainment Editor at BET.com and a member of New York Film Critics Online. He can be reached at claycane@gmail.com.


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    Wednesday, February 01, 2006


    music: "Candy" by Cameo

    I have several "ATTACK THAT SNATCH" stories, but this will be the first installment, which will let everyone know how the phrase began ...

    Years ago I stayed the night over one of my best friend's house who will go by the name "Mildred" -- FYI - Mildred is a guy. Another one of my best friends stayed the night too and she will go by the name of "Booka." Mildred was always known to be raunchy, outlandish and the one guy who would pull out his dick at a party because he was so proud of his big shalong -- it was so large that it looked like a deformity!

    Anyway, the morning after Booka and I stayed the night over Mildred's house, Booka came to me and said, "Chile' you're not going to believe what I saw this morning -- I caught Mildred WACKIN' HIS TACKY when I walked into his bedroom!"

    "Really?" I replied. "Damn, he would do that knowing he had company - what a tramp!"

    "I know chile' - he's so nasty ... but I just wanted to let you know!"

    About five minutes later Mildred comes to me and says, "You ain't gonna believe what I saw - I walked in to MY bedroom and Booka was ATTACKING THAT SNATCH in my BED!"

    Instantly I said, "You're lying -- Booka told me that she caught YOU WACKIN' YOUR TACKY!" Mildred tries to convince me that Booka is lying and only told me that so I wouldn't believe SHE was attacking her furry snatch.

    Well, Booka walks in from what seems like out of nowhere and yells to Mildred, "Yeah chile', I saw you wackin' your tacky! Don't try to say you caught me. See, Clay - he's a dirty slut!" Mildred and Booka are battling as I am desperately grappling with who is telling the truth --- the SNATCH or the TACKY!

    Finally Mildred says, "CLAY - if she caught me jerking off -- I WOULD TELL YOU! Everybody who knows me has seen my dick, now why would I not admit it?"

    That's when I realized ... Mildred is a debauched scamp, of course he would tell me! Mildred would admit his wacking-- and probably tell me how good it was! I turned to Booka and said, "Liar! YOU WERE ATTACKING THAT SNATCH!!!"

    Booka finally gives in, realizing that her plan to come to me FIRST and act like Mildred was wackin' his tacky was not fool proof. After a couple roll of the eyes and flagging of the hands, Booka says, "Pay it chile' ... I was attacking my snatch!"

    And that's where that wonderful phrase came from ... more to come!

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    Posted by Clay :: 12:01 AM :: 31 comments

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