We weren't best friends and we didn't talk on the regular, but whenever I saw him we always stopped for a moment and had a little conversation ... he lived in my old apartment building. I still lived in the same neighborhood so we would run into each other often ... I saw him more times this summer than ever before ... I remember he had the biggest smile ... His sister called me Friday morning to say, "I'm calling about my brother -- your number was in his phone ... I wanted to let you know he passed away Wednesday, November 1st ... " I called her back and got all of the details.
They said he passed away alone in his apartment from what they think was an epilepsy attack. He was 29 years-old and just sent an email about his upcoming 30th birthday party. I saw his number in my phone and couldn’t' delete it. I don't know why, maybe I felt like if I erased that number I would erase something else.
We seem to forget the little things we will miss -- the little things that end up being something huge. Throughout the weekend I must’ve said every cliché more than ten times … life is so short … you never know … no day is promised, etc. I contemplated over the weekend calling every one I haven’t spoken to in so long -- old friends, almost old friends and new friendsm who I haven't exchanged recent thoughts with … I wanted to appreciate life more – but how?
What can I do to prove that I am grateful for waking up every day? What can I do to prove that I appreciate everyone in my life? Should I send a mass email? Call everyone in my phone book? How do you show your appreciation to something you have no control over, especially when it feels so long? He had the biggest smile ...
Pasted below is a clip of one of my favorite songs by Janis Joplin called "Summertime." Not a direct relation to the passing of a friend, but the sound, music and voice feels appropriate.