Clay Cane is a New York City-based writer who is recognized for his contributions in journalism. Clay is a regular contributor for various print and online publications such as The Advocate and He is the author of the highly anticipated novel Ball-Shaped World, which is a fictionalized account of the black and Latino ballroom scene. Also, he is the Entertainment Editor at and a member of New York Film Critics Online. He can be reached at

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    Friday, March 28, 2008

    For everyone in Philly, be sure to check out Nicole Ray's one-woman show Fantasy is An Addiction for women's month at the African-American museum. Nicole Ray starred in my play, back in March of 2006, Sex, God & Heels. Having already read an earlier version of the script -- Fantasy is an Addiction is edgy, provocative, naughty and button-pushing. A mix of camp, soul and truth. If you are in Philly tomorrow -- it is not to be missed! Below are the details.

    Fantasy is an Addiction
    Through a collage of vignettes, Tina, a phone sex operator, discovers her passion for eroticism is not what it seems. By way of a series of recollections and reenactments, we discover, along with the main character, the root of her fantasy. Striking symbolism and powerful prose provide these characters and the audience a pathway to healing.

    Saturday, March 29, 2008
    Doors open at 2:30pm
    3pm (Sharp)
    In Celebration of Women’s Month
    African American Museum
    701 Arch Street
    Philadelphia, PA
    Cost $15 non-members and $7 members

    Check out my review over at The Daily Voice for the controversial film Stop-Loss, which is the story of a solider who served his country in Iraq and goes through a "back door draft", forcing him to reenlist. This is one of the better films I've seen in 2008 and I recommend the film to anyone who is concerned about the war. Stop-Loss is directed by Kimberly Pierce, the director of Boys Don't Cry.

    Last week, the death toll in Iraq hit 4,000 and the nation marked the fifth year of the war. The release of the MTV Film "Stop-Loss," in theaters today, arrives with perfect timing. Sure, some people will not agree with the politics of the movie. Yes, there are already those who claim the stop-loss policy is misrepresented, but the film is still powerful, impactful and keeps the dialogue about the war in Iraq alive -- a topic that is no longer hot in the media with imaginary gunfire in Bosnia and supposed "anti-white" black preachers in Chicago.



    Posted by Clay :: 9:31 AM :: 2 comments


    Thursday, March 27, 2008

    Whenever I get into music talk with friends, publicists, or other journalists and I hear the rant "Well, [insert name here] is only around today because they are white!" I always bring up several examples of white artists who did not survive their era (Cathy Dennis, Samantha Fox, Cyndi Lauper -- love Cyndi though) and one person I can't forget is England native, Lisa Stansfield.

    Why this woman isn't Celine Dion or Whitney Houston today makes no sense to me. The woman had soul, an incredible voice and hits. Plus, who didn't love that slicked over hair with the legendary curl?

    As I look through Stansfield's bio, there is no reason why she fell off. She didn't sue her record company, no disease stopped her and she wasn't a drug addict. Stansfield had a huge following in the black community and one of the few white artists to perform on the television show It's Showetime At The Apollo in the early '90's.

    It's all about timing -- check out some of the greatest hits.

    Her #3 Billboard Hot 100 hit "All Around The World".


    The R&B classic "All Woman".

    Check Stansfield's performance of "All Around The World" at the Apollo -- look at all the love the audience is giving her!


    Posted by Clay :: 10:50 AM :: 15 comments


    Wednesday, March 26, 2008

    Well, in case you haven't heard Senator Hillary Clinton claimed she was a regular La Femme Nikita and was under "sniper fire" during a 1996 trip to Bosnia. In reality, there were no gun shots and she was accompanied by her daughter, the comedian Sinbad and rock ‘n roll chick Sheryl Crow. CBS discovered this news and the footage, showing Missy Hill emoting in a seaweed green trench coat, her classic ’90’s helmet bob and greeting children. Hell, I've been in more danger walking through "Washington Heights -- Bring A Knife" after midnight!

    From the beginning, the New York Senator has been overstating her position as First Lady like Beyonce’s vocal range. However, no major news organizations tackled the issue till now—even though Sinbad said over two weeks ago there was no sniper fire and the biggest decision she made was where to have dinner.

    Only after the video hit did Missy Hill say she made a "mistake", she's "sleep-deprived" and she "misspoke".

    Misspoke? Actually, Missy Hill wrote in a speech back on March 17th, "I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." Did Missy Hill "miswrite"?

    Sure, she is human and we all make mistakes, but misjudging sniper fire is a pretty lofty error. That is the kind of illusion one has on an acid trip! Saying she was dodging bullets when she casually walked to children is a pretty imaginative lie—that's like meeting a "strictly top", who you find out later is a turbo-bottom! What is the point of telling a lie for no reason? We will found out sooner or later!

    Also, Missy Hill claims she was "sleep-deprived". Well, if you are sleep-deprived at a mid-afternoon press conference then I can only image when you get “that call at 3AM” you won't be alert enough to lead or respond.

    Bottom line is the Clintons have been known to “misspeak” for years. How about President Bill Clinton lying twice about Monica Lewinsky? Senator Clinton saying she was against NAFTA but now we know she campaigned for NAFTA? Just last night on Larry King Live, Maureen Dowd, Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times, said Clinton has also been over-dramatizing her trip to Northern Ireland: "I was on the Clintons' trip to Northern Ireland. And I've noticed that progressively in the last year, she had been kind of filigreeing her accomplishments on the trip, too. I was with her. She had tea with a bunch of Catholic and Protestant women. And I'm sure it was a lovely tea, but lately she's been 'securing the peace' in Northern Ireland."

    Yeah, Missy Hill is ready on day one—to lie!

    Check out the clip below of Hill’s Bosnia trip.

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    Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 5 comments


    Tuesday, March 25, 2008

    Check out my last interview with Janet Jackson for Instinct Magazine's April issue, which is on newsstands now. Janet Jackson talks to her gay fans about the new album, her own gay rumors and how she feels about gay porn. Pasted below is an edited piece from the magazine, but for all the Janet fans -- it's worth it to p

    As soon as possible I will post the audio from my Janet interviews.

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    Posted by Clay :: 1:41 AM :: 3 comments


    Monday, March 24, 2008

    For those who have followed my blog you are probably familiar with the black and Latino ballroom scene, a subculture that celebrates fashion, dance, competition and creativity. In addition, I am in publishing process with my novel Ball-Shaped World, which is a fictionalized account of the ballroom community.

    Back in July, I did a fun post called "R&B/Hip-Hop: Ballroom Style". I received emails saying I left out some folks. Well, here is a second part -- if you missed the breakdowns of the House of West, The Legendary House of Def Jam, or the list of free agents, which included Mary J. Blige and Janet Jackson, click here.

    Each person in the ballroom scene is associated with a house or family, like the House of Khan, House of Blahnik and House of Mizrahi. The houses have a structure of mother and father with the “children” of the house striving for ballroom fame and status. However, as many have said in my interviews with ballroom figures, the scene is also full of hierarchy and shade—just like the celebrity world!

    Here is another breakdown of the R&B/Hip-Hop world, ballroom style!

    Founder and Grandfather Clive Davis: Legendary icon, the girls give Granddaddy Clive the utmost respect. He has the power to make or break a diva—one quick whisper to the commentator and your career is no more! No one can remember the last time he walked a ball or his category, but he let’s the kids know, “Without me there would be no icons, bitch!”

    Legendary Mother Whitney Houston: After a few overdoses in a grimy bathroom stall with Bobby Brown, Mother Whitney is back with Daddy Clive. In a new gilda, a bedazzled gown and labels to die for, she is ready to slay. Whitney is an overall legend for shady lady runway, face over 40 and, don't you ever forget, banjee cunt realness.

    Princess Alicia Keys: Daddy Clive promised Alicia mother status, but Whitney said she would not join the house if she is not the grand diva—Alicia was quickly demoted! Although Alicia has retired the days of butch realness and old way, she is currently eating it for soft & cunt performance, best dressed and face (although the girls are still trying to digest Alicia being a face diva).

    Duchess Jennifer Hudson: Some of the kids gagged J-Hud made it into such a prestigious house so quickly, but that was the power of being “the new bitch” of 2007. She is an up and coming statement for big girls face, luscious body and Burger King girl realness (No shade, she used to work at Burger King!).

    Children: A bunch of American Idol kids Daddy Clive ignores like Ruben Studdard, Jordan Sparks and Kelly Clarkson.

    Founder and Father Jermaine Dupri: Jermaine is closely tied to the House of Def Jam, but he refuses to leave the legendary House of ATL, which has housed icons like Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, Big Boi from Outkast and that legendary butch queen up in drags with a bazaar effect, Miss M*thaf%!kin’ Andre 3000. Jermaine is legendary for thug boy realness, old way, high fashion street wear labels and legendary commentator.

    Mother Usher: The mother position is always open for that hands performance diva, Janet Jackson, being that she is the first lady to Jermaine Dupri, but she insists on being a free agent. Therefore, Usher is the best fit, especially with almost as much ass as Janet and a partner who has more masculine facial features than Jermaine. Usher eats it for the new way, butch queen body, butch queen sex siren, butch queen face and European runway.

    Princess Bow Wow: Bow Wow has fought for this title like a ringwormed dog trapped in an alley with nowhere to go. Always a lil’ too much bark and as soon as he hits the floor, it’s a chop. The kids don’t see his labels, sloppy runway, or off-beat over dramatic performance. He’d be better walking butch realness.

    Children: Omarion, Raz-B and Ricki Romance (scandals!)

    Father and Founder Timbaland: He paid the lesbians over at the House of Atlantic. Telling Missy Elliot and Queen Latifah, “The white children are calling my name!” Timbaland is the icon for big boys runway, big boys realness and always knows how to bring it with a production.

    Mother Justine Timberlake: Miss Justine is known to sell a bitch out at any moment to win that trophy. Now that he officially has Father Timbaland, doing the Negro Frankenstein dance at his side, Justine is eating it for butch queen dramatics performance, European runway, futuristic bizarre and butch queen body.

    Princess Keri Hilson: You may not know her name, but she is the up and coming "new bitch" of 2008. Keri is planning to destroy for face, female figure performance and labels.

    Children: Nelly Furtado, OneRepublic, Magoo


    Father and Founder 50 Cent: 50 was once the “new bitch”, comparing himself to the legendary 2Pac from the House of Deathrow, but now mama can’t even get past round one of a battle. When he tired to battle Mother Kanye of the House of West earlier this year, Diva Kanye split her into pennies. With a dented metal chair ready to be thrown at a moments notice, 50 still hits the floor for thug boy realness, muscular butch queen body, urban street wear labels, who's zooming who and catch him on the right night with a hit of X, he might give you a lite realness with a twist!

    Mother: No one! The Game was previously the mother, but is now about to be locked for a few centuries. Nonetheless, a few years ago she made a lil’ mark for urban street wear labels and soft & cunt performance—you saw that episode of Blind Date!

    Prince Lloyd Banks: Lloyd is secretly shopping on the sidelines for a new house. He’s hoping those cakes can get him into the House of West or at least the House of Roc-A-Fella. Lloyd walks realness with a twist, thug boy realness and urban street wear labels.

    Children: Mase, Young Buck, Tony Yayo


    Remy Ma (formerly Terror Squad) Free Agent: If you think Foxy Brown was a tyrant, Remy Ma is a down right criminal. She is known to gun down any bitch who gets in her way and always has a blade between her titties. Remy is a free agent not because she wants to be, but no one wants her. She still walks and gets her tens, but never snatches the grand prize. Remy walks the urban street wear labels; project cunt realness and female figure dramatics performance—although her tuck has been known to fly out a few times!

    Fantasia (formerly Davis) Free Agent: Clive Davis ousted Fantasia out of the House of Davis saying, “We have ladies in this house—not truck drivers!” Since then, Miss Fantasia has been at a stand still. Don’t count her out, she will bring the fire with break your back dramatics performance in an ill-fitting dress. The girls kiki’d when Fantasia came out for face. Princess Rihanna Roc-A-Fella immediately chopped her and said, “When I see you, I say, ‘You sho’ is ugly!’” Rihanna had to quickly dodge a half empty bottle of Hennessy.

    Legendary Icon Michael Jackson (formerly Epic) Free Agent: Mother Michael was once the rock-sockin’ grand diva of the House of Epic. Now she just sits on the judge’s panel, sipping on some Jesus Juice and chops the girls to be evil. No one questions her judgment as she says, “I paved the way!” while peering into the crowd looking for any light-skinned boys with no facial hair. He has more trophies than all the rest and has walked nearly every category known to man: school boy realness, old way performance, new way performance, butch queen vogue femme soft or dramatics, butch queen up in pumps, butch queen face, drags face, femme queen face and the leader of bazaar face. Also, for the right coin, she’ll give you a good basement nose job and pump you with quality sil—just make sure the crazy glue is ready!

    The post is fictional and requires a sense of humor.

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    Posted by Clay :: 12:30 AM :: 7 comments


    Friday, March 21, 2008

    No one can argue Tyler Perry hasn't cashed-in with his films, but if Meet the Browns is any indication of future projects, his money train might be coming to an end. There was some artistic redemption with 2007's Why Did I Get Married?, but now that we have Meet the Browns, which is in theaters today, it' s obvious his movies still reek of clichés, stained with predictability and riddled with unrealistic scenarios.

    Perry's strengths are relying on the cultural bearings of African-Americans like soul food, basketball and slang, but this is also his biggest offense. Perry's use of cultural bearings plays on every stereotype and overused idea to makes one dimensional, soulless characters and humdrum scripts.

    Meet the Browns is based on the original stage play of the same name and is the story of Brenda, played by Oscar nominee Angela Bassett, a struggling single mother of three. Her eldest son, played by the talented Lance Gross, is a basketball prodigy who is fighting the temptations of the mean Chicago streets.

    Rick Fox is a basketball scout, who seeks out the skills of Brenda's eldest son, but she doesn't believe in "hoop dreams". After Brenda loses her job, her estranged father dies and, right on cue, a letter arrives with a bus ticket down South to pay her respects. Brenda and the kids go for the ride, only after the advice of her stereotypical Latin friend, played by Sofía Vergara. Side note: Vergara's character is terribly written, recalling what a white writer in the 1950s would conjure up for black characters.

    Once down South, Brenda and her kids meet the Brown family, who happen to be her family. The Browns are every other black family in Perry's films: Loud, unruly, overeating, and cracking a nonstop stream of trite jokes.

    Oh, and remember that basketball scout, played by Rick Fox? Well, he just happens to live in the same neighborhood as the Brown family and wouldn't you know there is a love connection between him and Brenda? He even has plans to make her son's hoop dreams come true. Chaos ensues, which includes drinking, basketball, gambling, drug dealing and eventually a storybook ending with love and money. I've seen better story lines for a 1-800-MATTRESS commercial.

    Meet the Browns is Tyler Perry's worst, but for reasons you may not think. Sure, most of his films, with the exception of Why Did I Get Married?, have poor writing and no originality. However, Perry makes his most costly mistake to date. Listening to the critics, he tones down the extreme religiosity. Now, that would only work if he toned down the religion and toned up a quality script, which he doesn't.

    "Jesus" throughout an entire film, does not make it a good movie, but it does cater to his most profitable audience. Perry controlled the Jesus element, which will disappoint many of his fans who just want to laugh and feel sanctified -- now they too will roll their eyes and be just as mortified as the critics. The veil has been removed!

    In fairness, the actors try from the belly of their souls to make the script work. Poor Angela Bassett is delivering like she is on Broadway. She seems to be saying to herself, "This isn't as bad as I think! This isn't as bad as I think!" Yes, Angela, it is... but someone who has embodied the spirits of characters like Tina Turner and Rosa Parks will always be perfection in my book.

    There are moments when you think Jennifer Lewis' priceless character acting can save the Browns, but after just a few laughs and about thirty minutes into the film, she morphs into another Perry character with a drinking problem and a quick mouth.

    Lastly, as if the audience wasn't tortured enough with implausibility, the film takes a bizarre turn with a popup of Perry's Madea and Uncle Joe character. Out of nowhere, Madea is in a police car chase. How can I describe it? Remember those mid-'90's hip-hop videos, where the music stops and there is a senseless scene of something that had nothing to do with the video? That is the best way to describe this ill-fitting Madea moment with Perry obviously relying on gimmicks.

    Meet the Browns is another reincarnation of poor writing, rehearsal-like directing and good actors minimized to rubbish. I appreciate an African-American director making money and his oddball attempt at showing black people in a "positive light". Nonetheless, I am not for representation at any costs, especially when Perry relies on the most common denominator of stereotypes. Minstrel shows in the mid 20th century had the same whacked-out haphazard scenarios, disguised as "plots", as Perry's films. With the exception of black face, Meet the Browns is no different than minstrelsy.

    Grade: D-

    Meet the Browns is in theaters today.


    Posted by Clay :: 10:00 AM :: 0 comments

    Thursday, March 20, 2008

    I was going to write a post about the now "controversial" April Vogue cover above. I think shouting racism for a fashion magazine is an example that we are screaming racism for the wrong and most trivial things. However, a friend of mine sent me the email below and I thought the way he put it was perfect.

    Lebron James is considered very attractive probably by most white folks. It's many black folks who fail to see his attractiveness because his eyes aren't slanted like Tyson Beckford's and his features not angular enough for our (blacks) light-skin taste. I guarantee the majority of white folks who look at this cover do not remotely think of King Kong. I don't see any saying "Wow, I almost thought that was King Kong."

    Put Giselle's boyfriend (plays for NE Patriots) in the same stance and it's the same thing. Quite simply, I think this NEEDS to be on the cover to take the shock value out of it. Heck, I was shocked when I saw Alek Wek on the cover of some magazine. She was obviously made a bit blacker, wore a white shirt to amplify the skin color contrast and had no noticeable make or weave. Many black people said " sho' is ugly."

    I think these types of things are plays on stereotypes that somewhat debunks the racist myth behind it. We are not used to seeing ourselves looking ethnic on these magazines. We are used to seeing ourselves over-Europeanized.

    Tell it like it is! I remember around the same time last year some people were offended that Jennifer Hudson graced the cover of Vogue with her mouth open. I'm sure Anna Wintour is saying to herself, "I've had enough of these n*****s!""


    Posted by Clay :: 10:23 AM :: 13 comments


    Wednesday, March 19, 2008

    Neneh Cherry takes me back to the late eighties in Philadelphia. Big gold chains, people selling bootleg cassette tapes (yes, tapes!) on the street, Chump and Homegirl potato chips (shout me out if you remember that!), the Jukebox video music channel and the good ole' days of hip-hop.

    Neneh Cherry was a UK transplant. A 14 year-old high school dropout, daughter of jazz icon Don Cherry and after making a name in the UK music scene, she got her big break with 1989's Raw Like Sushi. Cherry would be nominated for a best new artist of the year Grammy in 1990, but lost to Milli Vanilli (ain't that the shade!). Her career was stalled due to Lyme disease. Check out some of Neneh's greatst hits...

    "Kisses In The Wind" hit number 8 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1989.


    "Manchild" didn't chart in the US, but it received airplay on R&B stations and charted at #3 on the UK singles chart.


    Neneh Cherry's big hit was the classic "Buffalo Stance", which peaked at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1989.


    Posted by Clay :: 10:00 AM :: 4 comments


    Tuesday, March 18, 2008

    Before we begin, in The Final Battle: Madonna VS. Prince VS. Whitney VS. Beyonce, Madonna slayed them all, winning by an 11.4% margin. Those Madonna fans sure do know how to mobilize! Beyonce couldn't even hold her own and ranked in at a low 6.9%. Unfortunately, out of those who entered in the giveaway, no one guessed (in time) that Madonna and Prince would be the top two with Madonna winning. I'll save the DVDs for another giveaway! Thanks for everyone who participated -- you all had some hot battles in the comments. However, in the end, Madonna snatched that cat's meow!

    With all of the race baiting and mishaps in the current presidential election, some people of color are having a Kunta Kinte moment. Many African-Americans are angered at people who were once thought of to be allies of the black community, now seeming like traitors... although I could've told you that. Nice gestures and apologizing for slavery isn't enough, especially when you consider Jocelyn Elders and Lani Guinier, two blacks folks who were thrown under the Clinton bus (along with the gays) in the 1990s—google it.

    So just like The Advocate had a list called "Coolest Straight People", I decided to do list of "White Folks Who Will Sit In The Back of The Bus With You".

    Keith Olbermann
    Olbermann is the host of MSNBC's Coutdown with Keith Olbermann. Who can't love Olbermann’s recent rant on Senator Hillary Clinton after the controversial Geraldine Ferraro comments? Biting, passionate and truthful. Olbermann has always pointed out the injustices in the media and I don't know if has some black or Latins briefing him before each show, but the man is usually dead-on.

    Roger Ebert

    I know you're thinking—huh? But, when it comes to film, Ebert has been one of the most outspoken critics of Hollywood not acknowledging black actors and black films. He bashed the Oscars for not nominating Spike Lee for best director for 1992's Malcolm X. He was enraged when Eve's Bayou was ignored by every major awards show in 1998, a film he named the best movie of 1997. When the superb City of God (a film he once said was the best film ever made) was ignored for the best foreign film category at the 2004 Oscars, Ebert nearly had a Tocarra Jones moment. I love Ebert, as a critic, he inspires me... I wonder if this has something to do with his wife, who is African-American.

    Christina Aguilera

    While there isn't anything political about Aguilera, she seems to understand soul music like no other white artist (and many black artists) since Teena Marie. Oh, I'm not going with Aguilera being Latin (didn't that last for just one album?), if Cameron Diaz isn't Latin than either is Aguilera! Anyway, Aguilera has never been afraid of urban music -- even when she featured rappers in her videos, she wasn't scared to be in the same scene with them... unlike some other pop icons who took about six albums to get that comfortable. As an artist, Aguilera embodies soul from her crystal clear notes to a savage growl. While Beyonce once said she wanted her first solo record to be like Donny Hathaway, she didn't come close. On the other hand, Aguilera’s 2006 Back To Basics was a soul record without trying. Check out a stirring rendition of Etta James' "At Last", click here.

    Bill Maher

    Every Friday on HBO at 11pm Bill Maher breaks it down on race, politics, religion and all of the other happenings in America. While I may not agree with everything (like dating Superhead!), but the man is quick, smart and a critical thinker. He is not in the business of siding or congratulating black Americans just because a black person is on the panel. Maher speaks the truth and not afraid of the consequences. When he appeared on Larry King Live last month he had this to say about if America’s ready for a black president or is it particular to Senator Barack Obama, “That black man doesn't strike them as such a black man. I always say, he's like the Halle Berry of politics. For hundreds of years, people were like, I wouldn't go near a black woman, but boy, I would kiss Halle Berry. I think I would make an exception for her!” Tell it like it is!

    Elton John

    Elton is an ole' bitchy legend who has no problem voicing his disgust. Elton has always had the utmost respect for black music and we all loved it when he blasted season three of American Idol. After three black girls, including Fantasia Barrino, were in the bottom three, Elton said: "The three people I was really impressed with, and they just happened to be black, young female singers, and they all seem to be landing in the bottom three. They have great voices. The fact that they're constantly in the bottom three -- and I don't want to set myself up here -- but I find it incredibly racist!" Elton said what nearly every black person who watched American Idol was thinking.

    Teena Marie

    Teena Marie has always stayed rooted in the black community and never seemed to care about crossing over to mainstream audiences. Born into soul music, Marie is someone who just seems to "get it" without trying. I remember when I interviewed Teena... and I hate to talk in stereotypes because I know you can't "talk black”… but that woman sounded so black! She sounded like Aunt Teena at the block party, doing the electric slide and telling all the young children, "I still got it!"

    Michael Moore

    Michael Moore is the baddest white man in all the land. What I love about all of his documentaries is that the people he focuses on are incredibly diverse. He manages to tell an American story versus just the story of poor whites or working class whites. Moore is a college dropout and proves you don’t need to be a scholar to be smart, just some compassion and common sense. Here is one of my favorite quotes of all time, which happens to be from Mr. Moore: “White people scare the crap out of me... I have never been attacked by a black person, never been evicted by a black person, never had my security deposit ripped off by a black landlord, never had a black landlord... never been pulled over by a black cop, never been sold a lemon by a black car salesman, never seen a black car salesman, never had a black person deny me a bank loan, never had a black person bury my movie, and I've never heard a black person say: We're going to eliminate ten thousand jobs here— have a nice day!” Go off Mike! If this were 1960, Moore would've been right in the trenches!

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    Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 6 comments


    Monday, March 17, 2008

    This picture is of Tocarra Jones in July 2007. Just a few months away from the taping of Celebrity Fit Club.

    Finally, someone laying into these reality show "judges". Aren't we tired of it? Paula Abdul telling people how to sing? Tyra Banks giving international modeling advice when she was a commercial/American model and far from international? Diddy telling anyone what's hot in music, even when he has admitted to completely missing the mark in the music industry for nearly ten years?

    Well, Miss Toccara Jones, originally from America's Next Top Model and now on her second season of Celebrity Fit Club, had just about enough of the madness. On this Thursday’s episode of the VH1 reality show, she’ll be laying into the three "class-filled" judges, especially Dr. Ian Smith-Strahan.

    I'm sure many will say, "Well, she signed on to do Celebrity Fit Club!" However, let's be real, we all know she needed the coins and BET ain't paying her a good salary for that God awful game show Take the Cake. VH1 called, offered her a check and I’m sure she said, "I’ll be there!" But, will she have her self-esteem destroyed for it? Not tonight!

    In the clip below a maniac, but strikingly beautiful Toccara does exactly what she should’ve done to Tyra Banks when Banks claimed she “lost her personality”… she went the good-golly-f@!k-off!

    What bothers me most about the clip is Dr. Ian saying, "Be a woman!" Tocarra may not be a dignified, prim, debutant, like Dr. Ian Smith-Starhan, but she has been the one of the better representations of black women on reality shows. Dr. Ian’s face twists like a shady butch queen judging a ball, as he looks down on her like she is a Flavor of Love cast member and repeatedly says: "Have some class!"

    This whole “you’re fat" rant is confusing, Dr. Ian Smith, the diet expert (what does "diet expert mean? Is he certified? Licensed?) has said several times, "This is not a weight loss show. It's a get healthier show." If that is the case then why is Toccara pressured to lose weight and as she said in the first episode, make it seem as if her body is "dysfunctional"? I have never seen anyone on Celebrity Fit Club, who looks as good as she does and in less need of losing weight, get so tore a part for being "fat". On the season premiere, Harvey, the oddball drill sergeant, took a stab at Tocarra, comparing her to Tina Yothers, "'Tocarra, you have a baby too? What's your excuse?"

    Damn, I couldn’t imagine being a woman on national television and constantly being slammed for your weight. Nor could I imagine being a teenage girl who is struggling with weight and hearing that Toccara Jones is fat—I’d be on some diet pills and vomiting my meals three times a day!

    The clip will go down in reality show history, especially when Stacy Kaiser, the therapist, screams for her to stop and throws her finger in her face. BAB-BAY, I thought that white woman, who could use a few runs on a VH1 obstacle course herself, was going to get a good ole' Ohio ass whopping from hell.

    Tocarra’s emotional outburst was much more authentic than Tyra's, "Kiss my fat ass!” rant. Hell, I don't see anything wrong with Tocarra's body. Trimming and firming is fine, but she looks amazing. If I were a woman I'd rather have her body than Kate Moss.

    Check out the clip. Make sure you take a look at that face! Even when she is screaming, that skin, teeth, hair and structure is sitting for the gods! How can you be so angry and look so beautiful?


    Posted by Clay :: 1:41 AM :: 19 comments


    Thursday, March 13, 2008

    Well, as you can tell from the FABULOUS picture, Prince won the Michael Jackson VS. Prince poll. Prince wore Jacko out like Obama wore Missy Hill in Mississippi by snatching 56% of the votes with a 24% margin. Now, tomorrow come back for the last poll, which is going to be HOT.

    Check out my short Janet Jackson interview over at

    Janet Jackson: Still On Top

    There is still one more Janet interview left, which is for a gay publication and it's hilarious. Be on the look out for that in the next couple weeks.

    Also, for all of my theatre heads there is a play entitled "Jamaica, Farewell", which runs through April 20th at The SoHo Playhouse in New York City. It's the story of a Jamaican woman who smuggles one million dollars from Kingston, Jamaica to Miami, Flordia.

    Click here for my review of "Jamaica, Farewell"

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    Posted by Clay :: 12:44 AM :: 1 comments


    Wednesday, March 12, 2008

    As you see from the image above Senator Barack Obama won Texas by five delegates. Senator Hillary Clinton won the primary by 4%, he won the caucuses by 12%. Texas was part primary, part caucuses -- not two different elections, so the combination of the two equals the winner. If he won five more delegates than Senator Clinton why is she still declared the winner of Texas? Obama won three more delegates in North Dakota than Senator Clinton and he was declared the winner. Obama won only two more delegates than Senator Clinton in Iowa and he was declared the winner.

    A few more questions as I see the way the media is spinning Texas, Obama's win in Mississippi and the racist comments from Geraldine Ferraro.

    Since it is clear that Obama is the winner of Texas overall, then shouldn't Clinton end her rant that Senator Barack Obama cannot win big states?

    Didn't Bill Clinton say Miss Hill needed to win Ohio and Texas to stay in the election? Well, she didn't win Texas...

    Why are pundits downplaying Obama's win in Mississippi because he didn't get enough white votes -- he won by 22%. CNN pundits say this is Obama's most "racially polarized" win. Mississippi is the most racially divisive state in the United States of America. The idea that Southern whites, many who are still alive from Jim Crow, didn't get his vote shouldn't be a shocker. Obama has proven he can win the "white" vote across the country. Using Mississippi as an example of him not winning the white vote is deeply misleading. Furthermore, in the general election Mississippi always goes Republican.

    Why does the media refer to Senator Hillary Clinton as the first potential "woman" president? Aren't we leaving something out? She is a "white woman". Let's be even more clear, a rich, privileged, Ivy League white woman who hasn't struggled a day in her elite life. John Edwards was constantly identified as white. Clinton's "womaness" doesn't transcend race or remove her white privilege. While Obama is not an oppressed black man, he is not playing up race like Clinton is marketing her gender.

    Geraldine Ferraro says Obama is only winning because he is black. Ferraro's reasoning is that Obama is so inexperienced he is getting by on race. However, Bill Clinton won the 1992 Presidential Election younger than Barack Obama and with much less foreign policy experience than Barack Obama. What was her reasoning for Bill Clinton's win?

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    Posted by Clay :: 1:37 AM :: 14 comments


    Friday, March 07, 2008

    Special thanks to Jay for this map.


    Posted by Clay :: 2:41 PM :: 6 comments

    Check out my review over at The Daily Voice for that God awful film 10,000 B.C., which is in theaters today. Just another movie where white folks are playing pseudo-brown people.

    Whenever you watch these films about pre-historic times you always get into the lofty problem of race. While race, as we know it, didn't exist back then, it sure exists in Hollywood. For a predictable reason the movie stars pseudo-brown people. The leads like Strait and Belle are "browned up" with dreadlock wigs--like Angelina Jolie in A Mighty Heart, but with a stringy wig of dreadlocks... maybe the NAACP will honor 10,000 B.C. with a few nominations next year!


    Posted by Clay :: 10:20 AM :: 1 comments


    Thursday, March 06, 2008

    Remember Jody Watley? Former member of the group Shalamar who went on to have huge solo success. Watley would garner six top ten Billboard hits from 1987 to 1989 and earned a Grammy for Best New Artist in 1988. In 1989, set a record, the video for her #2 Billboard hit, "Real Love", earned seven MTV Video Music Awards nominations. This is a record she held till Michael and Janet Jackson's "Scream" video in 1995. Also, Watley had the sickest weave of the '80's!

    Watley wasn't the greatest singer on the planet, she was no Regina Belle or Phyllis Hyman, but her songs were still musical and not just pop fluff. Nowadays, it seems pop stars have little to no talent and the music isn't even interesting. Over twenty-million albums sold worldwide, Jody Watley ruled the '80's. Check out a few of her greatest moments.


    Jody Watley performing "Friends" on the Arsenio Hall Show in 1989


    My favorite Jody Watley song...


    Posted by Clay :: 12:52 AM :: 8 comments


    Wednesday, March 05, 2008

    Well, after the Obama losses last night I am officially depressed. Don't you love how Miss Hill used her gender card as if she is really an oppressed woman in America? Senator Clinton is rich, privileged, Ivy league and hasn't struggled a day in her elite life. I've already decided if she wins the nomination, I will not vote in November and all of my pro-black friends will just have to get over it.

    Anyway, the only thing that is going to make me feel better is a Valium or a Janet Jackson interview. Here is my second interview with Janet Jackson for The Edge. The pop diva talks record sales, closeted R&B artists, HIV/AIDS, the ballroom scene and more.



    Posted by Clay :: 12:19 AM :: 9 comments


    Monday, March 03, 2008

    I get all types of emails from folks—angry at my rants on fleeting celebrities, religious folks telling me to convert from a life of sin, declarations that I will burn in hell and more. Also, I get many emails from folks who enjoy my blog and even offer “loving” advice on what I should do differently. However, the email below truly moved me, which is from a young woman named Carmen.

    After talking about the email with a friend, I was reminded of the line from Shug Avery in The Color Purple: “See Daddy, sinners have soul too.” Not that I think I am a "sinner" or what I do is sin -- but I remember, when I was a young’un, the sole reason why I didn’t want to be gay wasn’t because I thought I was going hell—I didn’t want another reason for people to hate me. When I was growing up (and where I grew up), no important person or adult figure in my life told me it was okay to be who I was. I heard drug dealers, drug addicts, pregnant teenagers, abusive boyfriends, murders—hell, even OJ Simpson, has his life validated. But gay people, especially in the black community... no. It took endless amounts of soul searching, praying and coming to terms with every intricacy of who I was for me to say it was okay to not be what others prophetically demanded.

    When I read the email below it gave me just a lil’ hope… Lawd, I hope I’m not sounding like an egotistical Oprah! Anyway, I thought it was worth a read.


    Hello Clay,

    My name is Carmen and I'm an 18 year old girl from Toronto. I first stumbled upon your blog after googling "Beyonce is overrated" (I know that's stupid, but I was tired of her overexposure in the media and her crazy fans). After reading your hilarious post about how much "you hated huh", I was instantly hooked on your site. I started going to "" everyday after school.

    Now years later, I think that it’s about time to show you how much your blog has positively affected my life. I think that it is important for you to know that your blog helped me overcome my homophobia. I don't know how, but I am absolutely certain that your blog has played an instrumental role in helping me overcome this problem. I know this email is long overdue, and I have postponed writing this for almost a year now. However, I have always thought that this is something that you would appreciate. So here it goes.

    I was never really violently homophobic and I think that has a lot to do with my upbringing. See, I grew up in an atheist/agnostic household, and was never taught to hate homosexuals by my parents. In fact, I didn't know what a homosexual was until I was in the 6th grade. I think that it’s important to note that I never hated anyone because they were gay, nor did I ever feel that it was right for anyone to hate someone based on their sexual orientation. But to say that I wasn't homophobic would be lying.

    I might have cussed out kids in school because they used the word "faggot" and then slate them for their homophobia, but it was very hypocritical of me to do so. I knew that deep down; I was never truly comfortable with the concept of two people of the same gender "together". Actually, uncomfortable would be an understatement because to tell you the truth—it put me off.

    I didn't like watching a movie if it had to do with homosexuality, I didn't like the fact that actor David Hyde Pierce from the show Frasier was gay, and I used to dread the thought of ever having a gay son. However, since reading your blog, I can proudly say that I am no longer homophobic. I actually love watching movies that deal with homosexuality because as a woman of colour, I can relate to stories of discrimination. The only thing that now puts me off the show Frasier is the fact that Kelsey Grammer is Republican, although I still watch it when it’s on from time to time.

    Moreover, the only thing that I have to worry about if I ever have a gay son is to help him be proud of who he is regardless of what people tell him. I think I started reading your blog when I was 15 or 16 years old and will continue to read it until you decide to close it down. Since I'm a die hard Mariah Carey fan (and not much of an Xtina or Madonna fan) we don't always agree on the same things, but I love the way you write (from your posts on race, music, race, popular culture, sexuality, politics, etc) and wish you all the best in the future.




    Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 15 comments


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