CLAY CANE // GET YOUR LIFE

Friday, February 29, 2008

Janet Jackson Cover Story for HX Magazine

Ever since I interviewed Janet Jackson a few weeks ago I have been waiting for this interview to come out. It was one of the greatest interview experiencing I've ever had. Janet was fun, great sense of humor and had no problem answering all of my questions... even when I brought up Madonna (although I was scared as hell to mention Madge!).

Janet and I discuss her gay fans, celebrity girl-crush, how Jermaine Dupri handles the gays around her and much more. I love the cover, which says, "WHY MISS JACKSON WANTS TO BE A MAN AND KICK MADONNA'S ASS". You can pick up this week's copy of HX anywhere on the streets of Manhattan, but for now click on the link below to read the full interview.

Janet Jackson: Disciplined Diva

I will post the audio of this interview in a couple weeks. Also, I have two more interviews with Janet coming out in the next month -- be on the look out!

Labels: Interviews, JANET JACKSON

Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 9 comments

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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Erykah Badu Review on The Daily Voice

Check out my review of Erykah Badu's New Amerykah, Pt. 1: 4th World War over at The Daily Voice.

She is deeply eclectic, but sometimes unattainable. In some of the music and themes for 4th World War I said to myself, "I guess I'm just not smart enough for this!" In "Master Teacher" Badu repeatedly questions, "What if there was no niggas, only master teachers?" After a few listens I wasn't exactly sure of her message, except for an exercise in prophetic complexity.

Whatever the case, New Amerykah Part One (4th World War) is an incredible R&B, funk, rock record. On the other hand, I would've liked to hear more of Badu's flawless vocals, which always shines in her unforgettable live performances. Badu has yet to deliver a studio album that showcases her dynamic voice, which, believe it or not, is less Billie Holiday and more Chaka Khan.

Click Here For Full Review

Labels: BADU, Reviews

Posted by Clay :: 10:52 AM :: 5 comments

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Throwback: Bad Azz White Chicks

Rock 'n roll white chicks from the 1990s were incredible. Take a light stroll down memory lane!

Tori Amos is strikingly brilliant and 1995's "Cornflake Girl" is one of her best songs... plus, the video was sickening!

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Shirley Manson from the rock group Garbage was amazing in the 1990's. 1996's "Only Happy When It Rains" is still a classic.

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Courtney Love 's band Hole was the true resurrection of hardcore girl rock. "Violet" was one of their biggest hits, "Go on take everything, take everything... I want you too!"

Labels: WHITE CHICKS

Posted by Clay :: 9:48 AM :: 4 comments

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Review of Janet Jackson's Discipline on The Edge

Check out my review of Janet's Discipline, which is in stores today!

Nonetheless, the biggest error with "Discipline" is there wasn’t enough input from the icon herself. She wrote and produced very little on this project, which is disappointing since she is the first black female recording artist to receive a Grammy nomination for Producer of the Year. Some of the directions the album took didn’t feel like the Janet we all know and worship. Even Britney Spears would protest if music or lyrics didn’t fit her. I could see it now, while grubbing on some KFC and guzzling Budweiser, Britney screaming, "That ain’t me!"

No, this is not a comeback record nor will there be any number one singles, but it’s tough to say this isn’t a solid pop album. Moreover, if the legend never has another hit record, she has still made a historical mark on pop culture. No one can take that away from Miss Janet Jackson.

CLICK HERE FOR FULL REVIEW

Labels: JANET JACKSON, Reviews

Posted by Clay :: 12:06 PM :: 12 comments

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Monday, February 25, 2008

Cheri Dennis on gays, Diddy the diva, lesbian rumors

You may not know Cheri Dennis, but I'm sure you've heard her song "Portrait of Love". Cheri's debut CD In And Out of Love, hits stores tomorrow and she'll be at Club Splash in NYC Tuesday night for a live performance.

You'll get an idea of her sassy personality in my interview with her for The Edge. Cheri talks about rumors that she likes to munch the carpet, Diddy being the drag queen of hip-hop and much more. It's a good cackle...

Dance Diva Cheri Dennis: "It's All Love!"

Labels: FREELANCE

Posted by Clay :: 10:00 AM :: 2 comments

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Friday, February 22, 2008

JANET JACKSON Ticket Giveaway!

If you're a Janet Jackson fan, right about now it's good to be a reader of ClayCane.net.

On Tuesday, February 26th Janet Jackson will be performing at the Nokia Theater on 42nd Street in Manhattan, New York for Good Morning America. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see Janet in such a small venue!

So do you want tickets to see Miss Janet? In order to get your tickets you must be able to be at the Nokia Theater in Manhattan at 6:30am on Tuesday -- doors open at 7am. Also, while you need tickets to attend, I do recommend getting there as early as possible for good seats -- getting there too late might result in bad seats or you might be turned away.

Now, to enter through ClayCane.net you need to have commented at least once on my blog -- you could have commented at anytime, but anonymous comments do not count. So email me your past comment to claycane@gmail.com and if you email me in time, you will get your pair (two) of tickets. Hurry - hurry - the tickets are vanishing quickly!

Also, be on the look out next week for my interview with Janet Jackson!

Labels: GIVEAWAY

Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 6 comments

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

"Irreplaceable" by Clay Cane, dedicated to Senator Hillary Clinton

"Irreplaceable" rewritten by Clay Cane, dedicated with love to Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton

To the left, to the left...
To the left, to the left ...

Mmmm, to the left, to the left
Everything Hill owns in the box to the left
All the people, they're Barack's votes
Yes, he won it, bitch, don't touch (don't touch!)

And keep using those tears, that's fine
Could you cry and walk, at the same time?
It's Obama's name, whippin' that ass

Tax returns missing and now you have no cash

Bill Clinton's on YouTube, telling me
Obama's "fairytale" news, talking 'bout
"Jesse Jackson won South Carolina too"

I knew he was racist!

You must not know 'bout Obama
You must not know 'bout Obama
We wouldn't have another Clinton for a minute
Matter fact, Barack will be here in a minute (BAY-BAY)

You must not know 'bout Obama
You must not know 'bout Obama
We don't want you here for tomorrow
You should've never for a second got to thinkin'
You were irreplaceable...

Ten losses, right in a row
Your campaign's fired so take Chelsea home

Oops! You thought that we didn't know

What do you think we're voting you out for?

Because you were untrue…
Voting for Iraq and Iran with the power we gave you
Healthcare shouldn't be mandatory

You bombed on healthcare in '93!

Standing with Maxine Waters, telling me
"No experience", how 'bout…
He's got more bills passed than you!
The First Lady is twisted...

You must not know 'bout Obama

You must not know 'bout Obama
We wouldn't have another Clinton for a minute
Matter fact, Barack will be here in a minute (BAY-BAY)

You must not know 'bout Obama
You must not know 'bout Obama
We don't want you here for tomorrow
You should've never for a second got to thinkin'
You were irreplaceable...

Now Negros aren't your everything (not Maya)
I knew we were nothing (not Magic)

Nothing at all to you (not 50, not Whoopi)
Latinos are leaving you too
"Adios Señorita Hill!"

'Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left

Mmmm, to the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

You should've never for a second got to thinking
You were irreplaceable...

You must not know 'bout Obama
You must not know 'bout Obama
We wouldn't have another Clinton for a minute
Matter fact, Barack will be here in a minute (BAY-BAY)

You must not know 'bout Obama
You must not know 'bout Obama

We don't want another Clinton for tomorrow

You should've never for a second got to thinking…

You must not know 'bout Obama
You must not know 'bout Obama
We wouldn't have another Clinton for a minute
Matter fact, Barack will be here in a minute (BAY-BAY)

You can pack all your bags, you're finished (you must not know 'bout Obama)

'Cause you bombed Iraq, now lay in it (you must not know 'bout Obama)
We don't want you here for tomorrow
You should've never for a second got to thinkin'
You were irreplaceable...

Rewrote by Clay Cane

Labels: Politics

Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 12 comments

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Review on the Edge: The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav

Check out my DVD review of The Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav, one of the most hilarious comedy specials I have ever seen my life. I know I should be embarrassed to admit it!

CLICK HERE

Labels: Reviews

Posted by Clay :: 11:11 AM :: 1 comments

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Movies That Make You Want To Revolt

I said I was going to do a black history post each week, but did you think I was going to do a random fact ramble? Sweet molasses, smelling salts, no!

For many of us, our first introduction to black history was through films. Many blacks and whites were mortified at some of the imagery that graced the silver screen from the 1970s on. During black history month many of these films are on heavy rotation. So let's go through the movies that make you want to do a Nat Turner.

Amistad (1997)

Summary: Amistad is the somewhat true story of an 1839 mutiny aboard a slave ship. The native Africans had just about enough and began killing all white devils in sight. Unfortunately, their ship still lands in the United States, they are captured, go through the corrupt judicial system and magically learn how to speak and read English. A flawed movie, but still impactful.

I saw this movie in the theater and I was already wore out by the first thirty minutes but when the director, Steven Spielberg, took us to the slave ship scene -- it was the most realistic depiction of slave ships I had ever seen. In a horrific scene, several slaves are chained to a bag of stones, which is tossed in the ocean. Gruesomely, the enslaved people are violently pulled in the ocean—naked, screaming and crying. For those who do not know, sharks changed their route because there was a plethora of food, basically, African bodies thrown overboard. I saw Amistad in the theatre and when this scene played I was crying so hard I had to cover my mouth with both my hands! I felt like at any moment some primal wail was going to charge out of me. If you don’t get a tear in your eyeball, watching this scene then you simply have no soul. See below for the clip.

The Long Walk Home (1990)

Summary: The Long Walk Home is one of Whoopi Goldberg's greatest and underrated movies. The movie is placed in a 1955 Montgomery, Alabama during the bus boycott lead by Dr. Martin Luther King. Whoopi Goldberg is a maid for Sissy Spacek's character and when blacks boycott the bus she is forced to walk endless miles each day, back and forth to work...I can't even walk three New York avenues without needing to rest my "feets".

During an elaborate Thanksgiving scene the good white folks are ranting on "those lazy, greedy, selfish niggers". Ever notice when white folks play these roles they just seem to NAIL it. I digress, Whoopi's character is serving the food as one of the women rants in that privileged Southern twang, "They are just dumb niggers! Dumb, stupid niggers!" She looks at Whoopi, "And I don't care who hears me! I just don't care." Whoopi goes back in the kitchen. While it's not graphic, it was one of these scenes that you know black maids had to endure everyday from their white bosses, especially if there was anything political happening at the time. It felt so real and managed to capture the daily lives of black women. If that happened today "sistah gurl" could go the fuck off and sue the devil for some coins... only fifty plus years later that isn't a long time ago.

Rosewood (1997)

Summary: Poor white trash are enraged that the neighboring black town is doing much better than them. After accusing an innocent man of raping a white women, they decide to burn the town down. The story of Rosewood actually happened all over the country from Oklahoma to Mississippi.

Rosewood is not the movie to watch if you're in an interracial relationship; every white person is made out to be common, racist Jim Crow trash. Then, there is that moment when angry white members of the town threaten to burn down the home of Don Cheadle’s character, Sylvester. Esther Rolle, in her last role as Aunt Sarah, begs the white men to leave... many of whom she was a mammy for. Bam—they shoot her dead! Lawd!!! They done shot Florida—the mama from Good Times! Damn! Damn! Damn! I remember I saw this is a movie theater in Philadelphia with a predominately black audience. Once Esther was shot people started cursing up a storm, jumping up from the seats and throwing popcorn at the screen. I was sitting next to a young white girl, probably a college student, who turned to me with tears in her eyes. I couldn’t tell if she was moved by the tragic scene or terrified by the colored folks reaction in the savagery of West Philadelphia.

Roots: The Saga of an American Family (1977)

Summary: The epic miniseries, which tells that fictionalized account of Alex Haley's family history.

I think it's obvious... when Kunta Kinte is whipped because he refuses to say his slave name; it is one of the most important scenes in television history. Each lash you feel as you wonder if you would be so steadfast to your race, ethnicity, or name. Lawd knows after that first lash I would’ve yelled, “I’m Toby, damn it!” When Kunta finally gives in, saying his name, the overseer adds, “That’s a good nigger.” Damn it—hold my mule! Click here for clip.

Sankofa (1993)

Summary: An independent film, not well-known and hard to find on DVD. A materialistic, black fashion model is spiritually transported to a plantation in the West Indies, where she gets the living daylights beat out of her!

Sankofa is graphic, shocking and unforgettable. I'm not giving to give too much away because I don't want to spoil it for those who want to see it, but in the most graphic slave scene I have ever seen, the main character, Mona, is brutally raped. The look on the master's face is possessive, the character is screaming like a banshee and the viewer feels like they are right there. Something boils in your gut and you know how real, bloody and scarring slavery was. Sankofa is an excellent film with a small budget, but it's one you will never forget.

Don’t think I didn’t forget other great films like Mississippi Burning, The Color Purple, Glory, Malcolm X, Do the Right Thing and many others.

What movie or scene gets you in that rebellion mood?

Check out the clip below from Amistad. The scene I detailed above starts at 6:52.

Labels: Race

Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 9 comments

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Friday, February 15, 2008

Thank Jezuz It's Friday!

Thank Jim Crow Jesus it's Friday! Well, just a couple things for today.

Above is the caption winner for the Girlfriends: The Third Season DVD giveaway. However, the person was anonymous and never emailed me... so, runner-up is Wonderlove for the comment:

Obama: Ladies and Gentleman, THIS is the size of the cigar Bill stuck in Monica's matza riddled twat. Now if Hillary can't get down with that pinch of freaky-deaky, imagine how much a prude she'll be as your president!

Congrats and thank you to everyone who submitted a caption!

Check out my review of Girlfriends: The Third Season DVD on the Edge - click here.

Have you ever heard of Da Doo Dirty Show? Well, now is the time to check it out! Click here for a link to me being interviewed by DJ Baker. The interview starts at 25:17. He tried to back me in a corner with some of those slick questions, thank the Lawd I am an experienced journalist!

Have a good weekend!

Labels: COMMUNITY

Posted by Clay :: 12:06 AM :: 2 comments

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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Aretha Franklin and Senator Hillary Clinton Bond After Public Humiliation

Aretha "Luscious Body" Franklin is berserk over the Grammys abusive treatment toward her this past Sunday night in Los Angeles, CA. In a tribute to a slim and trim Tina Turner, Beyonce Knowles used the term "the queen" to introduce the rock icon. Franklin was devastated at this blatant disrespect from Beyonce and the Grammys. Sources said Franklin described the “Crazy in Love” diva as, "an inexperienced Creole, hot twat!"

While inhaling three buckets of fried corn, thirty-three servings of banana pudding and eighteen cups of purple Kool-Aid, Re-Re spat to the press, "I am not sure of whose toes I may have stepped on or whose ego I may have bruised between the Grammy writers and Beyonce! However, I dismissed it as a cheap shot for controversy!"

Attendees at the Grammys, who sat in a ten mile radius of Aretha, even though she filled an entire row, said the "Chain of Blueberry Biscuits" soul diva was wheezing, growling and sweating like a warthog during Beyonce's intro for the "Steamy Windows" icon.

Re-Re's assistant whimpered, "I was trembling… when Miss Franklin gets mad she instantly gets hungry. So when Beyonce said her name second, after Sarah Vaughn, I heard her stomach growl! Then, Beyonce called Miss Turner ‘the queen’! I said a prayer as Miss Franklin grabbed the closest thing to her and swallowed it—unfortunately that happened to be Bow Wow! God, I hope he survives her digestive track—that stomach has been known to break down stainless steel pots that had scraps of fatback on it!"

Miss Franklin knew the only person who could understand her hungry pangs was Senator Hillary Clinton, who suffered equal humiliation this week racking up eight consecutive loses in the run for the Democratic nomination to Senator Barack Obama. Luckily, Senator Clinton has the "Negro Phone Line", which instantly takes call from BET's Bob Johnson, Representative Maxine Waters, 50 Cent, Quincy Jones, Magic Johnson and many other delusional African-Americans who refer to the New York Senator as “Big Missy”.

After devouring three plates of mustard pork tenderloins and ten roasted squirrel tails, Miss Franklin dialed Senator Clinton. A life-changing conversation took place, which was filled with tears, praises to Jesus and a little phone sex with former President Bill Clinton—hey, anything for the African-American vote!

Senator Clinton allegedly told Miss Franklin this national scandal from the Chesapeake primaries to the Grammys was due to Beyonce, “That Texan harlot is to blame! First, she disrespects you by defaming your name with that anti-Jesus, Buddhist heathen and now she’s endorsed that mulatto trash!”

Immediately, a press conference was called at Casa Franklin. While menacingly shaking a neck bone with grisly bits dangling from her mouth, Re-Re’s jowls quivered as she hollered, "You ain't see the last of me—I'll see her Creole ass at the Image Awards!"

Re-Re also announced she would endorse Senator Clinton. With tears in her eyes, cocking her head perfectly to the closest camera, Miss Hill cried, "It’s an honor to have the endorsement of a national treasure like Miss Franklin. When I am President of the United States I promise universal healthcare and a Constitutional amendment to end the exposure of Miss Franklin’s gargantuan bosom to every American citizen nationwide.”

This just might be what Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton needs to regain her momentum.

*This post is fictional and requires a sense of humor

Labels: Celeb Humor

Posted by Clay :: 12:18 AM :: 14 comments

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Last Shot of Grammy Madness

"Peaches Babble-On" Guest Rants

Many of you wanted a return of Peaches Babble-On since the Judging Tyra post and your wish is granted! Before Peach begins, a few folks asked me if Peaches Babble-On is an "alter ego" of me, no -- I ain't Sybil! This is a completely different person and a bit of an industry insider.

Yes, I know we are all tired of the tired Grammys, but let's close it out with a final look at the once a year weekend, which included endless industry parties, the red carpet and the humdrum Grammys. Being that I care nothing about fashion , I decided to let Peaches take the wheel. Peach rants on style, hair, fashipn and everything else under celeb's narcissistic sun-- go off Peaches!

***************

Solange and Beyonce

As I watched Beyonce walk the red carpet, I began to hear Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson cue up a rendition of "Beauty & The Beast." Too bad the beast is her own Creole kin. It's really unfortunate, because I think fashion-wise, Solange socked it to her sister. Problem is, Solange looks like flesh-colored Gonzo from the Muppets.

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Lil' Mama

Lil' Mama is killing me with this monstrosity. I'm no PETA activist, but there is something to be said about abusing animal print! Although Lil' ManMan didn't harm any animals in the making of his dress; he's still guilty of hurting another living creature... me and every once else with an ounce of lip gloss taste!

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Angie Stone

I love the irony that someone soft and jiggly is named "Stone". Also, a satin/sateen/silk (whatever) HOUSEDRESS does not make a gown. Just because it's shiny and possibly cost a little penny, doesn't mean you should wear it in public!

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Nicole Murphy

I can't exactly bash her fashion, it's propriety, however, is deeply in question. Dress your age or at least the age you look, and your body says 25, but your face says 55. Speaking of that face, why does it look like the leather used in a diner banquette chair?

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Brandy and Aretha Franklin

Brandy looks like a praying mantis next to Aretha! Re-Re... even if there is absolutely not one mirror in Casa Franklin, you can see this is wrong. Agreed, she probably can't see past her breasts by looking down -- she'll never know how the entire dress looks, but even so, that's sign enough that whatever she THINKS she has on, ought to cover EVERYTHING!

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Fantasia

I'll say it again, let your fantastic voice be the sole reason that people stop and stare! Take it from me, a tried and true New Yorker from birth; people love to hear birds sing -- NOT PIGEONS!

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Ledisi

CELIE!!! Shake your shimmy girl!

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Verdine White of Earth, Wind & Fire

You know what upsets me the most? That for years, Verdine White had the sickest relaxed wrap in the black music biz (Katt Williams, get outta here) and he's fallen off. I'm so disappointed! Like locs, cornrows or any other long-haired hairstyle, you must know when to let go due to graying hair or lack thereof... now is the time. Dishonorable mention for those painted on brows and that lip-glossed abused mouth. What in the hell?

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Amerie

I always wondered what to do with my used and blackened coffee filters to help save the environment. Hey, even Peaches Babble-On can go green! Throwing them away and not recycling always seemed wasteful. From now on, I'll just make a dress for Amerie. Oh, by the way... red shoes are only for hookers and children!

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Ne-Yo

There are two things I'll never accept and/or forgive from a celebrity (with money): bad skin and bad teeth. These are usually ills of the poor! Since Ne-Yo is not exactly smiling in the pic, it's clear that I'm utterly disappointed in those epic razor bumps! Tend skin, Murad, Cosmedicine, Dr. Perricone, etc., are all OTC products that will handle that!

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Lil' Kim

Saving the biggest disaster for last... was there ever a cat so clever as the magical Mr. Mistoffelees? Apparently Cats left Broadway and found it's way to Brooklyn. Kim, don't try and divert attention from your p***y by turning into one.

Till next time!

Peaches Babble-On

Labels: AWARD SHOWS, Beyonce, Fashion

Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 12 comments

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Giveaway: Girlfriends Season Three

Season three of Girlfriends is in stores today and you can win a free copy! This season is one of the show's most popular seasons and includes guest stars like Common, Rockmand Dunbar, Jennifer Lewis, Kimberly Elise and more.

In honor of today being the Chesapeake election, caption my favorite Obama/Clinton picture below. Email me your caption or post it in the comment section, just be sure you are not anonymous. All captions due by 9am EST tomorrow, February 13th.

Labels: GIVEAWAY

Posted by Clay :: 10:34 AM :: 19 comments

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Monday, February 11, 2008

Grammy Awards 2008

I managed to pull myself away from the super-delegate madness on CNN to watch the 50th Annual Grammy Awards. Well, it wasn't worth it. The Grammy Awards were about as boring as a Republican Primary: a gigantic three and a half hours, atrocious fashion, coon-a-licious moments (Nas being the headliner) and disappointing performances.

Alicia Keys opened the show with a mediocre and implausible duet with Frank Sinatra. Meaning, if Ole' Blue Eyes were alive he would've kicked her over singing colored ass right off the stage. Frank was known for his “back-slapping, racist jibes” to black performers. Although pop culture revisionists say he fought against racism, that man was legendary for his stabs at Sammy Davis, Jr. Whatever the case, Clive paid off those Grammy folks exceptionally well this year because Keys was in unneeded heavy rotation throughout the show.

Next, we had Carrie "Underwhelming" Underwood who sang her hit song “Before He Cheats”, but it actually turned into Christina Aguilera drag with the bi

g hair, tramping it up and plastic vocals that could never touch Christina...les we forget, the soul singer's performance of James Brown’s "It's A Man's World" last year.

Prince graced the stage to give Alicia Keys an award. He emoted in hooker heels, a pimp jacket and Fantasia's haircut. I love Prince and all, but, I mean, really...I can smell the fish from my TV! If Patti LaBelle can say it -- so can I!

We also had an unexpected performance from The Time. Yes, The Time, no one under 30 probably remembers the Prince-inspired group. I was perplexed why they choose this two-hit wonder band from the '80's to grace the 50th Annual Grammy Awards. Hell, why not just bring out Klymaxx!

To make matters worse, Rihanna joined them (what a shame Beyonce gets Tina Turner and Rihanna gets The Time) in a terrible performance as she sashayed in a bizarre outfit that looked as if she was just saved from being shipwrecked.

Alert: The diva entered the building, no I don't mean Cher or Tina Turner, I mean the rock-sockin' Diva Kanye. Diva Kanye with Daft Punk emerged on a dark stage with a blaze of pink fire (he better subliminally reach out to the gays!), his outfit in electric lights and his voice slowly delivering the lyrics to "Stronger", reminding me of the pre-coon days of Nas in "One Mic".

Kanye West was magical, riveting, wondrous and you knew his soul was in every movement of his performance as he cried, "Is this what you've been waiting for?" He continued with a simple but touching tribute to his mother that brought a tear to my left-eye. It got better when Diva Kanye won his award for Best Hip-Hop album and the Grammys tried to cut him off with the, “We have to pay for advertising!" music. Well, Kanye demanded that the music be cut and instantly it was! Now that's a rock-sockin' diva...although I thought the comment to Common was unnecessary. Mr. West said, "You shouldn't release an album the same year as me!"

After a few more awards, Fergie crooking through "Finally" (hop

efully people will finally realize she can't really sing) and endless commercial breaks—it begins. Cher, Beyonce and Tina Turner—what in gay heaven! Cher introduced the two in her Battlefield Earth ensemble with a severe gilda and extra surge. Beyonce begins a lip-synched intro to many of the divas before her. She performed in a well-needed weave cut with a lil' more body. Bey had a lot of jiggle—you could just see the Popeye's Chicken grease jiggling in those thunderstorm thighs!

Now, Tina Turner, the 68 year-old icon of rock and soul. I love Tina and she's got a lot of miles down the river, but I just have to rant a little. That outfit…so stiff and silver…she looked like an arthritic baked potato simmering in an aluminum foil sleeve! Did Andre Leon Tally style her?

The performance was a bit of a disappointment for me...I guess I expected too much. Beyonce seemed a lil' nervous, but she did avoid dramatic over singing and let the legend take the lead. Overall, Tina tumbled down the river and Beyonce stumbled down the river, but it was still fun to watch.

Next we have the Jim Crow Gospel portion. Oh, yes, you know where I’m going with this. Aretha “Luscious Body” Franklin looked like Jabba the Hutt dressed as a king-sized Twinkie. Shouldn't Aretha have some respect if she is singing for the Lord and not having her big utters shimmying across the stage? I'm sitting in front on my TV trying to appreciate the Lord's music and there is Aretha’s bosom about to pop out and expose some gooey, stretched out nipples!

BeBe Winans joined her, queening it out with a 1980’s Andy Warhol jacket that he must've bought on a discount at Zara.

Endless gos

pel screaming and hollering—basically a huge, spectacular mess!

More awards and finally we get to Amy Winehouse on lockdown, barred from traveling to the states. The drugged out Brit souled it up in an excellent performance of "You Know I'm No Good" and "Rehab". When she isn't high, she is a good mix of talent and sincerity. She snatched Record and Song of the Year with a great speech. Regardless of her demons, she is truly talented and at least she hasn’t molested or peed on anyone.

The show ended with a performance from some old dollies, which included Little Richard, who was shellacked with about a billion coats of butter cream chocolate frosting... that Negro's pores must be as clogged as a double penetration Cocodorm porn!

Kanye West lost Album of the Year to Herbie Hancock, but as he was praying to every God possible, Usher threw a lil' shade and said, “There are no losers...Kanye." I would've liked to see Diva Kanye win, but Herbie Hancock is a brilliant artist who was well overdue for Album of the Year.

Well, the only real loser of the evening for me was Nas. As you see from the picture above Nas and Kelis slapped "NIGGER" on their clothes and then tried to justify it for the cameras. Nas told E! "This is for all people of all colors who have been duped."

No, you shuckin' n' jivin', hip-hop puppett, it's for you. You are trying to bring attention to an album titled "Nigger"—while you and your wife are cloaked in diamonds, jewels and designer labels. Two privileged buppies wearing “Nigger” on their clothes is not going to enlighten anyone or start a movement. Absolutely vile, especially during black history month and this moment in history with the 2008 Election.

Another yawn fest, but here is a list of all the winners.

Labels: AWARD SHOWS, Beyonce, DIVA KANYE, LEGENDS, RIHANNA, WHITE CHICKS

Posted by Clay :: 1:15 AM :: 14 comments

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Friday, February 08, 2008

Black History Facts

Throughout black history month I will be highlighting some little facts (some known, some not), in African and African-American history. I hope you enjoy.

* Contrary to popular belief, African kings were not as willing to sell their people into slavery as people think. The argument of, "Well Africans sold their own people!" is ridiculous. There wasn't CNN back then, it took some time to realize Europeans were creating this form of chattel slavery. Many kings protested and in 1526 King Affonso of Congo wrote to King João of Portugal:

"Each day the traders are kidnapping our people of this country, sons of our nobles and vassals, even people of our own family [King Affonso's nephews and grandchildren had been kidnapped while en route to Portugal for religious education and sent into slavery in Brazil] . . . This corruption and depravity are so widespread that our land is entirely depopulated . . . . It is our wish that this Kingdom not be a place for the trade or transport of slaves."

King João responded with: "You . . . tell me that you want no slave-trading in your domains, because this trade is depopulating your country. . . . The Portuguese there, on the contrary, tell me how vast the Congo is, and how it is so thickly populated that it seems as if no slave has ever left."

* Southern Homestead Law in June 1866:

You know the term 40 acres and a mule? This is part of where the term comes from. Good white folks decided to give African-Americans 47 million acres of land that was stolen from American Indians. Over 40,000 entries were filed, however, by 1876 that Southern Homestead Law was repudiated and what land that was given away, people were thrown off the land.

* Citizenship was not fully guaranteed to African-Americans till 1870. However, American Indians had to wait till the Nationality Act of 1940 for citizenship.

* While the thirteenth amendment banned slavery, there was a little wording that gave some leeway, which was "except when it is used as a form of punishment". This glitch in the thirteenth amendment allowed generations of black men to be locked away for basically no crime at all. Many people explain this is one of the reasons why so many black men are in prisons today.

All facts taken from Ethics Along The Color Line by Anna Stubblefield.

Labels: Race

Posted by Clay :: 11:09 AM :: 5 comments

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Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Did Latinos Betray Blacks?

Written By John Walker

John Walker is a frequent reader of ClayCane.net. He is a black gay man, born and raised in New York City. I do not fully agree with his opinion, but I think he is expressing what many New York City African-Americans are feeling post Super Tuesday. The strife between Latinos and blacks is not just limited to Mexicans in California.

__________________

This has been brewing for sometime now; it's crystal clear that we as black people are on our own. We've seen signs of it in recent years but the process is now complete. Gone are the days of the Black Panthers, the Young Lords, the Black and Puerto Rican studies departments in City College, or even the useless Black and Puerto Rican Caucus in the New York State Legislature. Every gain we, as New York City African-Americans, received, we’ve brought Puerto Ricans and Dominicans with us.

Let it be known—Latinos voted against black people when they voted against Senator Barack Obama. Ever since the last census when Latinos were declared America's largest minority the battle for number two has been on. Yes, I know blacks have their own xenophobic ideas around language and immigration—but Blacks don't strategically block Latino ascendancy into power.

I knew that Obama would lose the Chicano vote out west, and I expected the Cubans in New Jersey would go with Hillary. However, I thought that New York City Puerto Ricans and Dominicans might show something different—NO WAY JOSE! Latinos in New York City voted for Senator Hillary Clinton at 74%. I'm not ashamed to say it—THE LATINOS PLAYED US!

It’s time that Black leaders stop talking about "People of Color" this and "Multiculturalism" that, and start speaking and planning for us. I feel like I should even re-evaluate all of my relationships... down to my barber because that money isn't going into the hands of the black community.

Please don't respond with some BS like "that's what the white man wants us to do... divide and conquer." America is about factions and a competition for resources; read Federalist Paper no. 18 by James Madison. It's time for us to close ranks!

This race is coming down to purely demographics, by in large Obama is winning in states where there are huge black populations or most white voters are Republican. If a Negro with a white mama who has steered cleared of all black leaders, except for Oprah, can't win, then who can? You can't get more race neutral than that...other than NOT marrying a black woman.

The betrayal from Latinos is a consequence of black people making a conscience decision in the early ‘80’s not to be BLACK anymore. We decided to be "multi-cultural", "biracial" and "diverse." I feel like a raisin in the sun, but I hope I stay mad for a long time. Long enough to change who I date, who I shop with...I'm so serious. I wonder if they have a Nigerian spousal mail order service. I’m disgusted.

John Walker is a guest writer for ClayCane.net. This is an opinion piece and does not necessarily reflect the views of Clay Cane.

Labels: OBAMA, Race

Posted by Clay :: 9:30 AM :: 37 comments

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Monday, February 04, 2008

Miss Hill's Gender Card

Pre the endorsement of Senator Ted Kennedy, Caroline Kennedy and now the First Lady of California, Maria Shriver, Barack Obama had no powerful or noticeable endorsements from whites. He won Iowa, South Carolina and more delegates in Nevada than Clinton, purely on his message and with one powerful endorsement—Oprah Winfrey.

However, it’s quite the opposite for the Clinton Dynasty. African-Americans like the Reverend Calvin Butts, Magic Johnson, Maxine Waters and even Bob Johnson of BET “endorsed” Senator Hillary Clinton. I wondered, again, pre the endorsements of those listed above, what made them publicly endorse the Clinton Dynasty considering at the time Obama wasn't getting the same love from white celebrities?

Am I too focused on a bit of solidarity? Am I too focused on the historical aspects of this campaign, coupled with the flawlessness of Senator Barack Obama? There is no problem voting for the Clinton(s), but I was a little taken aback by the public endorsements by so many visible and respected African-Americans. While Obama is no Dr. King, if Dr. King would've ran for president in the 1970s, I doubt Aretha Franklin and James Brown would've endorsed the white candidate.

Whatever the case, the New York Senator has the endorsement of the white ruling class—especially the super power of her fried chicken eating and adulterous husband, former President Bill Clinton.

I wasn’t surprised when dear friend of the Clinton Dynasty, Maya Angelou, endorsed Miss Hill, but it was her statement that I found a bit peculiar. She said, "Today, the challenges facing us threaten the dreams we have had for our children. We need a president with the experience and strength to meet those challenges." I was perplexed and have been stunned at this “experience” rant. People are acting as if Barack Obama just woke up one day on a hammock in the hills of Kenya and said, “I’se want to be President!” Contrary to popular belief, being a corporate lawyer, a first lady for eight years and failing on universal healthcare does not make you more “experienced”. How about if Nancy Reagan ran for president? Hell, Condoleezza Rice has more Washington experience than Hillary Clinton!

What I find to be the most contradictory is Clinton, and her public supporters, are allowed to mention gender as much as they like. Oprah Winfrey said in her speech at the LA Rally yesterday that she met several women who said, “I’m a woman; I have to vote for a woman.” Women are allowed to openly support, and demand support for Miss Hill, because of gender. However, blacks are not allowed to support Obama because of race, which would make our decisions “emotional”, “prejudice” and “not well-thought”. Yes, being black is a plus, but all of us who support Obama believe in his vision, regardless of race.

Still, Miss Hill can pull her convenient gender card. In October, Clinton mentioned at Wellesley College in Massachusetts, “the all boys’ club of presidential politics.” Could you imagine if Obama went to an HBCU and ranted on being in “the all white club of presidential politics”? Even though that is exactly where he is, he would receive Biblical amounts of backlash.

When Senator Ted Kennedy endorsed Obama, the New York State Chapter of the National Organization for Women ranted he “betrayed” women and even cried, “He's joined the list of progressive white men who can't or won't handle the prospect of a woman president.” Wow—what if the NAACP said Representative Maxine Waters betrayed blacks and “She’s joined the list of people who can’t handle the prospect of a black president!”

Throughout history white women have benefited from civil rights before black people. There have been more women Senators and governors than African-Americans. I hope the historical pattern is not going to be proven again on Super Tuesday.

Since I was eleven years-old I have lived in an America that was ruled by a Bush or a Clinton; I am ready for a change. A continuation of the Clinton Dynasty is nothing progressive, different and simply more of a polarized Washington.

Check out the amazing speech from Maria Shriver below.

Labels: OBAMA, Politics

Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 13 comments

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