CLAY CANE // GET YOUR LIFE

Monday, April 13, 2009

I've always been fascinated by plastic surgery. Even back when I was first introduced to the ballroom scene, I would be amazed at cheek, butt, face and breasts implants or silicone injections. If I wasn't so afraid of blood, needles and everything doctor related—I would've been a plastic surgeon.

I was particularly interested when a friend told me that his best friend got butt implants... a black gay man who I will call Mr. My Hump. He felt his ass was not suitable enough (so much for all black men have a whole lot of ass) and didn't have enough confidence when getting the monster mash on his back. He would complain, whine, constantly go to the gym, but that ass was crack head flat—what is a boy to do? He decided to get butt implants, which ended up being a ridiculously painful procedure and a terrible recovery period. To him, the implants were not stable, but because he got the surgery in a foreign country there wasn't much he could do. Nonetheless, when he fully healed, he felt like his ass looked better.

Finally, it was time for him to get the master plunge. He is taking it, arching his back, popping his junk, the man is grabbing his ass. Smacking it! Flipping it! Rubbing it down! "That ass is so good baby; you got the best ass I’ve ever seen!" The man didn't know he had booty implants. Mr. My Hump is feeling confident and for the first time he is thinking he made the right decision. Suddenly, unexpectedly, shockingly, as he is screaming to the high heavens with the man pounding him, he slaps his ass again—and SHA-WHAM! His implants shifted to his lower back!

Mr. My Hump was ashamed, embarrassed, and ran out of the room like the women who hear "You are not the father!" on the Maury Povich Show. The man is freaked out, not knowing what the hell happened. Mr. My Hump told him that he has butt implants and they seemed to have shifted. That was some d*ck he never saw again.

Mr. My Hump went to a doctor and last I heard it was something he had to live with. Unfortunately, if he got the implants removed it would flatten his ass even more. Not only is his ass flat, but it is deformed and periodically goes on vacation in the lower back region.

Good day!

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Labels: STORYTELLING

Posted by Clay :: 12:00 AM :: 19 comments

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